Coming to Japan has been an adjustment, and because of the difficulty of every day life, I no longer have the energy for the high intensity workouts I was accustomed to in the U.S.  Especially after winter set in, I was lucky to make it out from under the kotatsu.

I changed to practicing yoga 4-5 times a week, taking comfort in the subtle challenges of the poses, and the ability to move at my own pace, and do only what I was capable of doing.

If any of you are interested in doing yoga from home, I highly recommend yogaglo.com. You can take a variety of classes at all levels, styles, and for all purposes, from well-known teachers from around the world.  My most favorite teacher is Kathryn Budig, a former Ashtanga yoga student who now teaches mostly mixed Vinyasa flow classes.  Unlike many yoga teachers, she makes fun of herself, the poses, and life in general, demanding students to smile through difficult poses and take joy in sweat, falling on your face, and experimentation.  Often, after taking a class from her, I would find myself smiling for the first time all day.

When I heard she was coming to Nagano to teach, I did a happy dance around the house, and was up until 1 a.m. getting tickets and a pension for the weekend.  Disappointed after the schedule changed, and I would be able to take only half as many classes, I took heart in that it was now costing me half as much.:)

It's very rare in my life that people have turned out to be exactly who I needed them to be.  I don't know about you, but I've often looked for heroes... mentors... someone more experienced and wiser you can respect for who they are, not just what they represent.  People are just real people... not people created out of your own wants and needs.

But this weekend was everything I hoped it would be.  When I was younger:) and running marathons, I used to love the camaraderie of races... talking for hours with other runners about strategies, injuries, and everything running.... it was like a big giant running nerd fest, and I loved every minute.  Unexpectedly, this weekend was the same... only in Japanese and yoga.:)

 People need a certain amount of solidarity and camaraderie in their lives.  I don't get a lot of that now, as even many of the foreigners I know don't share common interests with me.  I was unreasonably happy that so many Japanese people had such wonderful things to say about Kathryn's classes, because I loved them to... and having someone with whom to share something I loved was so unexpectedly refreshing, I don't think I stopped smiling during any of the classes.


I learned so much, challenged myself to my limit, and erased so much fear... and Kathryn herself was exactly the same in person as in her classes.  She said, "What we are doing here is not normal.  It's not normal to try and stand on your head, one forearm, and your fingertips.  But when we're around it so much, we start to feel frustrated, and forget how difficult it really is."

I realized this is true in our life in general.  Our life at this moment is not normal.  It's not normal to move to a foreign country whose culture is about as alike to your native culture as rocks and clouds.  It's not normal to try and function independently in a society where you are still learning how to speak, read, and write the language. It's not normal to try and make moving a long piece of steel around look graceful yet purposeful.  Yet, to us, it seems normal (and therefore frustratingly discouraging) because those around us are so very good at doing all of those things.

I've gotten better at not looking at others in a yoga class balancing on their head with no arms and their legs sticking out at weird angles, and thinking I need to be able to do that someday.  Kathryn reminded me this weekend that I need to apply that same mentality to every aspect of my life.  All I need to worry about is where I am now, where I want to go, and how to get there.  I can't hold myself to other people's standards.  I can only hold myself to my own.