Seems like every year at the end of year you are either one of two things... too worn out from the craziness of the holiday season to even think about the fact a new year has begun, or horribly depressed and stressed about the passage of time and end up turning your life into a reenactment of A Christmas Carol without the happy ending.
This year I have apparently chosen option #2. The problem with Japanese culture at the moment, I've discovered, is that it can bring out deep seated paranoia and fears in even the most level headed of people (of which I obviously am not:). The lack of direct communication and constant repression of emotions has taken a subtle toll on my stress level, and though every day I resolve to "be myself" and not be affected by these cultural norms... my success rate is very low.
I also study Japanese as hard as I can, and still often cannot understand most of what is said to me. Granted, there are usually extenuating factors, like when the post office called at 10 a.m. this morning, and I hadn't even had coffee yet (yes, I know, lazy) but feeling completely unable to communicate starts to wear one down as well.
So I try hard to come up with distractions and constantly focus on the positives. I read this great article in my Yoga Journal magazine this month, by a former monk named Sally Kempton. She writes great articles, and this one in particular focuses on the concept of a "karma cleaning" party. Some of you may find yoga, meditation, etc. hokey and strange, but I think tomorrow on New Years, after we head down to our local temple to bang on a giant bell with a large stick, we will make a list of the positives and negatives of the year, burn them, and start fresh. Check it out: http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2647
We are thankful for so many things this year, but it's been a whirlwind. I only hope 2013 can bring a little more clarity and certainty. It's been a much bigger challenge than we expected to adjust to life here in Japan, and it's not going to get any easier any time soon. It's difficult to explain to friends and family without them thinking we are either A: complaining about a situation that should be absolutely perfectly wonderful because we are so lucky to have the opportunity nothing should ever go wrong or B: we hate Japan and should come home.
The truth of the matter is obviously, neither. There is a lot to love about Japan, and we have met some amazing people. We are slowly, slowly making our own connections, and building our own network of people. We have seen some beautiful places and done some wonderful things--with more to come! There is a lot we miss about America, and many things we took for granted. I can't tell you how much I miss joking casually with my coworkers, or having someone nearby I trusted when I had a problem. I never knew how much those small moments made a difference in my day. Thank you guys!!!!
So I'll use this last post of 2012 as a shout out of gratefulness to all the people who have helped me, smiled at me, talked to me, wished me well, and allowed me to share a part in their lives. The one thing both Japan and America have in common is it's the small moments that make or break your day... and I'm truly thankful for everyone who has been one of my happily unexpected small moments. Happy 2013!!!:)
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