Oh winter...

Usually, the first part of the year is crazy busy, and I'm too lost in the shuffle of life to focus on anything else.

It's been a long time since I've had the cliched "winter blues", but seriously... this winter sucks, man.

It's cold, it's dark, my skin is dry and slowly aging me and I look about 4 pants sizes fatter in all my layers.

I started the New Year with some good goals, and I intend to follow through with them.  It's just disturbing after spending my entire life goal driven and focused to be so easily discouraged these days.  It seems like for every two steps forward there is the standard 4 steps backwards.

After deciding to buckle down in my Japanese studies and finally start using and practicing that evil creation known as kanji, I decided to take the JLPT (Japanese Proficiency test) in July.  I'll keep my goals modest and aim for the 5th level, but if I miraculously start reading kanji--as if kanji was a little alien baby hiding inside me all along--I may try for the next level up.

Cute little kanji baby...

Then, like a giant whale-sized needle designed to puncture all my happiness, I head to the ATM to attempt a furikomi (bank transfer).  Never having done a furikomi before, I panicked when I realized that option was not available on the English screen.  Using my dictionary, I managed to find the furikomi option in kanji, but after that, fearful of making a mistake, I left the ATM hut dejected and worried about the impending payment deadline.  Why must the simplest things be so difficult?

Hoping a hibernating bear might decide to make a freak appearance and eat me, I trudge up the hill home.  Tired, but looking for a stress reliever, I forgo my planned hour long yoga and instead do a quick 30 minute class.  One of my other goals is to face my "yoga fears" and try arm balances and inversions I've been too afraid to try because of the very real and legitimate fear of falling painfully on my face.  Too tired to think, I suck myself up into side crow... and then realize... holy shit, I'm in side crow!  I rock!  Woohoo!  So of course, then I did side crow 10 more times to get a picture to prove it.:)

After reveling in a moment of accomplishment in a day of struggles, I look down at my arm and realized all my side crow-ing has rubbed a patch of skin off my left elbow.  I have given myself a side crow rugburn.  Awesome.  Just nature keeping me humble...

Finally, I decide that only I decide whether or not I let petty circumstances get me down, and I settle in with my never fail Japanese comfort items... reindeer beer and a really cute radioactive cat.

So, tomorrow I will take nenkyuu to go to the bank before their ridiculous closing time of 3 p.m. to furikomi this damn payment for the ski trip of which I am terrified.  Me + heights + fast things = bad combination.  Face your fears... yes, there can be consequences to facing your fears.. like elbow rug burns... but you can also accomplish your goals.  So, in February, I will put both of my feet into a snowboard and deliberately slide down a mountain.  I might break several important things... but I might not.  You never know until you try.

And kanji... you're going down.  Consider yourself warned.