Saying goodbye to 2012...

Seems like every year at the end of year you are either one of two things... too worn out from the craziness of the holiday season to even think about the fact a new year has begun, or horribly depressed and stressed about the passage of time and end up turning your life into a reenactment of  A Christmas Carol without the happy ending.                                          

This year I have apparently chosen option #2.  The problem with Japanese culture at the moment, I've discovered, is that it can bring out deep seated paranoia and fears in even the most level headed of people (of which I obviously am not:).  The lack of direct communication and constant repression of emotions has taken a subtle toll on my stress level, and though every day I resolve to "be myself" and not be affected by these cultural norms... my success rate is very low.

I also study Japanese as hard as I can, and still often cannot understand most of what is said to me.  Granted, there are usually extenuating factors, like when the post office called at 10 a.m. this morning, and I hadn't even had coffee yet (yes, I know, lazy) but feeling completely unable to communicate starts to wear one down as well.

So I try hard to come up with distractions and constantly focus on the positives.  I read this great article in my Yoga Journal magazine this month, by a former monk named Sally Kempton.  She writes great articles, and this one in particular focuses on the concept of a "karma cleaning" party.  Some of you may find yoga, meditation, etc. hokey and strange, but I think tomorrow on New Years, after we head down to our local temple to bang on a giant bell with a large stick, we will make a list of the positives and negatives of the year, burn them, and start fresh.  Check it out: http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2647

           

We are thankful for so many things this year, but it's been a whirlwind.  I only hope 2013 can bring a little more clarity and certainty.  It's been a much bigger challenge than we expected to adjust to life here in Japan, and it's not going to get any easier any time soon.  It's difficult to explain to friends and family without them thinking we are either A: complaining about a situation that should be absolutely perfectly wonderful because we are so lucky to have the opportunity nothing should ever go wrong or B: we hate Japan and should come home.

The truth of the matter is obviously,  neither.  There is a lot to love about Japan, and we have met some amazing people.  We are slowly, slowly making our own connections, and building our own network of people.  We have seen some beautiful places and done some wonderful things--with more to come!  There is a lot we miss about America, and many things we took for granted.  I can't tell you how much I miss joking casually with my coworkers, or having someone nearby I trusted when I had a problem.  I never knew how much those small moments made a difference in my day.  Thank you guys!!!!

So I'll use this last post of 2012 as a shout out of gratefulness to all the people who have helped me, smiled at me, talked to me, wished me well, and allowed me to share a part in their lives.  The one thing both Japan and America have in common is it's the small moments that make or break your day... and I'm truly thankful for everyone who has been one of my happily unexpected small moments.  Happy 2013!!!:)

Hanukkah Japan style

People have told me that they never started celebrating their family's traditions until they had children.  I think the same can be said of moving to a foreign country.

We now have a Charlie Brown Christmas tree, 3 stockings and tonight, lit our very first ever menorah.  We have celebrated Jewish holidays tangentially with Alan's family, but now that we are so far away, we have some strange urge to celebrate everything on our own.  I guess it's because things are so different here, the festivals so unfamiliar... or worse yet, the same festivals but horribly jacked up... like Christmas Valentine's Day.

Akari and us with our Charlie Brown tree

I was warned when I came here not to be too "Japanese".  I didn't understand what they meant.  I just said, "sure, no problem, thanks!"

However, after hitting another new low this week (hooray!)  I realized that I have been doing exactly that... trying to be too Japanese.

In Japanese culture, a foreigner is a foreigner.  I could dye my hair black, wear kimono every day, and speak perfect Japanese and I would always still be a foreigner.

But I have spent all my time stressing over how I might offend someone, worrying about obeying cultural norms, and trying to fit into a culture in which I will always be an outsider.  What's so bad about being an outsider, anyway?

So this weekend, while driving to iaido--an incredibly stressful time, due to constant worrying about offending the seemingly very quiet, reserved people--I decided that in the U.S. I never gave the time of the day to anyone who would judge me harshly or offer unwarranted criticism.  It's as if I came to Japan and had a personality transplant... a present from an uptight *&%&( who never had any fun.  What do I care what people think, as long as I know I have the best intentions and am doing the best I can?  It's inevitable that I will offend people and break cultural norms... and whether I stress out about it or not, in the end, my actions will be the same... humbly apologize and explain the misunderstanding.

With our first real snow lying on the ground right now, I am getting a jump on my New Year's resolutions.  I will no longer bury my personality under a mask of fake inscrutability and spend my free time worrying about how I might have offended someone.  I cannot spend all day quiet, reserved and meek, as that is just not me.   I was hired for who I am, and I will be the person I am... and maybe... maybe... I can teach at least my students to have a little fun every now and then.:)

My mask of inscrutability

Holy crap it's almost December...

Yes, I say dude.  You gotta problem with that, dude?

  

After almost four months in Japan, it's been a whirlwind.  As everyone else has been posting list after list of things they are thankful for, it almost seems silly to me to make a list, as... I live in Japan dude! How you can you be more thankful for anything than that?!

But, most of you know it's not as simple as that.  It's been a challenge, much more so than we bargained on, and it's worth a shout it to some of the things we've managed to accomplish.  Volunteering in the evacuated area, canyoning down a giant 20 m waterfall, bringing home an illegal foster kitten, starting training in a Japanese martial art, starting a second graduate degree... we've been so fortunate to accomplish so many of our personal goals already.

As December rears its snow covered little head, life is finally slowing down enough to consider... what next? It feels like we've been just bouncing around from one event to the next, never stopping long enough to process where we've been or where we're headed.  So, having had a whole three day weekend to reflect, I ask myself... where have I been and where am I going?  (cue godly dramatic music, with a Monty Python voice.)

Monty Python says we should go to Nepal.

I never realized how much I was coasting through my life in the U.S.  I'd accomplished so many goals I'd had there, and I felt confident in my work, my friendships and my hobbies.

Coming here, it's been a drastic change to suddenly being the one who knows nothing... is never doing anything right... can't even read the label on a tube of toothpaste.  Every day, the simplest things are challenging and ego deflating... and I never knew I had such a large ego to deflate, until I came home utterly exhausted and defeated from a whole day of being a failure. (yes, I hear you all smirking and tittering about the large ego you all knew I had.  Enough from the peanut gallery.:)

You're probably not surprised to know it's been good to be taken down a peg, and remember what it's like to be the last one from which anyone would ever ask for help.  At least now I can point to what exactly it is that makes me so tired, irritable, and impatient... and admitting you have a problem is supposedly the first step to recovery.

But where do we want to go now?  Looking down the long, cold, icy tunnel of winter, our travel schedule will be severely limited by slick mountain roads and a lack of central heating.  What will we do all winter?

I realized that Alan and I have always done a great job of maintaining our own goals and interests.  But now that we have one car, one income, and limited time, we are forced to work together.  So far, I can't say that we've been very successful. But I hope the coming winter will allow to accomplish one of our major goals for coming to Japan... to become more of a couple, and set some mutual goals that we can both honestly pursue together.

I have to say, I think the fact that so many people asked where Alan was at the last training conference is at least a step in the right direction.  In America, there were so many people who hadn't even met him, and now I can't go anywhere without him.:)

Golf will *not* be one of our mutual goals.  Golf is evil.

Preparing for Winter

Always, always, I keep having the same realization... which is not a good thing, as I obviously am not learning from it!

Sunday I took my first sick day of the year, and stayed home from a leaf viewing trip to sit under the kotatsu with the cat and watch South Park.  I christened our bath tub with a hot bath, drank some wine (I'm sure it has some medicinal properties) and sat at home alone for the first time in months.

I came here to slow down, find a happier, more reasonably paced type of life.  It sure is difficult to switch gears, as I find we've been living our lives here like tourists, rather than people who are settling in for the long haul.  Every moment we have free, we feel we have to fill with "meaningful" trips and interactions, leaving us with no time to sit and contemplate our experiences, reflect on what we've learned.

So on Sunday, as a reward for taking some time to be still, I literally watched the fog roll in to Ikusaka.

I had never understood that phrase before, but I stood at our living room window and watched the first creeping tendrils inch into the village, followed by a massive bank of clouds from the river.  It was amazing.

At the risk of making everyone reading this roll their eyes halfway out of their heads, I have to say our lives here are like the fog.  We are slowly creeping our way into our community, and finding our path.

We have had, strangely enough, good luck with elderly Japanese men.  We are headed to dinner again tonight with our first older couple who live in the next town over, Akashina.  The husband enjoys speaking English with us, and I enjoy practicing my Japanese with his wife. We were also privileged to attend a sightseeing trip put on by an English club, and impressed an older man there who paid us the most gracious compliments for our simple expressions of thanks for his help on our trip.  It seems like just when things dip the lowest, the scales balance out, and you're given something wonderful.

We hope to start iaido soon, and I am looking for shodo ( Japanese calligraphy) classes.  I may end up calling a Japanese teacher as well, as though she is expensive, we could desperately use the conversation practice.  I tried to start working on my yukata, but Akari decided the pattern paper was hers.

Switching gears, we are wintered up for the Nagano winter.  Our friends not in Japan have been slightly confused about our preparations, so just to clarify: we do not have central heating.  So, we have several wonderful devices aimed to keep us warm.  We are also taking donations of Snuggies, as though I mocked them in the U.S., now I desperately want several to allow me to move from one room to the other.

In no particular order, the stars of winter in Japan!

A cat and a kotatsu!

A kotatsu is a heated table with a blanket under the table top.  A cat is a small mammal that stays remarkably warm despite very cold temperatures.  Combined, warmth can be attained easily and enjoyably.

A kerosene heater

Less enjoyable, but very effective, a kerosene heater.  We were very proud of ourselves to be able to buy the kerosene ourselves, and with a little help, we learned how to use the battery powered kerosene filler upper thingy.  Questionable fumes, but delicious heat.

Our pirate covered hot water bottle

A hot water bottle.  Useful for keeping the futons nice and toasty, and heating up cold clothes in the morning.  The cat likes it too!

So as the weather gets cooler, we look forward to being forced to spend more time at home, working on the long list of things we have always meant to do... and never have.

Fukushima

Typically, I try to keep the tone of this blog light, as living in a foreign country has been difficult, and it's helpful to no one to dwell on the lows.

However, this past weekend we had the opportunity to visit two amazing places in Japan... but it's not exactly a happy story.  I beg your indulgence for a few moments for a rather serious reflection on the weekend's events.

As foreigners, it is difficult for us to get a credit card.  To use the expressways in Japan, you must pay... a lot.  Unless you have a magic card called an ETC card.  This card allows you cheaper fares, and half price on weekends.  Since we have no magic, we drive on the crowded, long, winding, often crazily designed Japanese mountain roads.

Japanese toll way

Our destination was the Japan Cat Network shelter in Inawashiro, Fukushima .https://maps.google.com/maps?num=10&hl=en&q=ETC+card+Japan&ie=UTF-8  It is about an hour or so from the evacuated zone in Fukushima.  It took us 8.5 hours to drive up one prefecture and across two.  It did, however, give us beautiful views of the Japan Sea, and a place we would like to visit in the summer. (Joetsu, Niigata!)

The Japan Cat Network http://japancatnet.com/ was founded by an American couple who came here to teach English about 20 years ago and were not able to leave.  Their original shelter is in Hikone, Shiga, but they expanded to Inawashiro after the earthquake and tsunami of 2011.  They have space in a restaurant and former pension house and can house approximately 40 cats and several dogs.  

The woman who founded the shelters had to quit her position in order to keep the Inawashiro shelter running.  They are desperately in need of live-in volunteers, as if there is no one to take care of the animals both in the shelter and the evacuated area, it is most likely the animals will not survive.  She spends all of her time commuting between the Shiga and Inawashiro shelter and managing not only the practical aspects of the shelters, such as animal care and housekeeping, but also the managerial aspects like assessing foster and adoptive parents, marketing and administrative duties.

All work and no play saves a lot of animals in this case...

At any rate, we arrived in Inawashiro tired and stressed from the long drive. We had opted to stay in the free loft area with the "sort of" socialized cats.  The shelter also has a room for the less cat inclined you can rent for 2000Y.  

We brought our sleeping bags, pillows and suitcase up to the loft, and released the cats.  They were very excited to have people, even though some of them are still learning to be friendly.  The shelter has a three step system for its cats.  When they initially come in, they go into "quarantine" until they are vaccinated, spayed/neutered, etc.  Then, they move into our room, where they become socialized with other cats.  Lastly, they move into another room, where they become more socialized with people.

Our loft in Inawashiro

Staying at the shelter is not a vacation.   However, there are much worse ways to spend a weekend!  After checking out the sleeping area, we jumped in and started cleaning.  Volunteers are responsible for cleaning litter boxes, sweeping, general tidying and feeding/watering the cats.  We did all of the above, then washed up for dinner at the tasty Hero's Cafe which served burgers, fries, and made a special vegetarian burger for us as well.

Our first night was full of cats thunking and running around.  There are five cats that were brought in because the owner was evacuated and could not bring them into evacuated housing.  She had already had to euthanize three of her cats!  They were the most social, and when I woke up in the morning, I had five cats surrounding me on all sides.

We started our morning by cleaning and feeding cats in our room, and feeding the cats in quarantine.  Then, we took the dogs for a walk through the beautiful mountains.  Inawashiro is a resort town, that has been hit hard by the disaster as people fear radiation.  The lake is gorgeous, there are numerous foreigner-friendly restaurants, and the atmosphere is calm and relaxed.

Lake Inawashiro

After our walk, we fed and watered the dogs, then loaded our car up for the drive to Nihonmatsu.  Currently, you cannot enter the restricted area without an evacuee.  Only evacuees are allowed into the area, and have a pass specific to their vehicle.  Nihonmatsu is the last town before mandatory evacuation.  However, many people have voluntarily evacuated, and their elementary school is closed.

Here, we picked up the evacuee who started a small shelter of her own and is the lifeline to getting JCN into the evacuated area.  Animal welfare groups had their passes revoked after one year, and are technically not allowed into the area.  This evacuee knows that, and willingly goes against the rules to take people into the area at great risk to herself.

The evacuated area is eerie.  It's basically the largest ghost town you will ever see.  Weeds and other foliage have grown over roads, and cars are abandoned wherever they were last parked.  Alan took a great picture of a K-truck that had been completely over grown with vines after being parked in the middle of the road.

Ghost town

Radiation is a difficult disaster, because you can't see it.  Everything looks and seems perfectly fine.  It seems unreal and silly.  Then, driving away from the 25 K mark, we saw our first radiation marker.  

This is the level of radiation in the air only.  The level in the ground is often as high as 50... which is an x-ray. The recommended daily maximum exposure of radiation is 0.10.  After I saw this marker, I tightened my mask and realized that radiation is very real... and people in this area will never be able to return anytime in the foreseeable future.  What must it be like to have everything you own just sitting there, contaminated, but outwardly looking perfectly fine?  People keep coming back, harvesting their rice fields they cannot sell, cutting their grass, feeding animals.  How strange to try to move on, when you have to keep coming back.

Protective gear and one of the feeding bins with a small hole so only cats can get in.

People's homes are pristine, and left exactly as they were.  Some even had laundry hanging.  Damage from the earthquake has not been repaired, and all homes have signs on them from the police.  Some homes have hand written signs as well, but I did not know what they said.  Some people left signs for the JCN, asking them to find their cats, or leaving food near feeding stations.  In true Japanese fashion, no detail was left behind.  Vending machines were even emptied and the coin slots taped over.  I have to wonder if people cleaned out their refrigerators...

As we drove through the area, cats would hear the car and come running down the road.  There are so many animals still left in the area, and many are adults that have been living in the wild since the disaster.  Wild animals are beginning to take over the area.  We saw two huge foxes, one with a terrible case of mange.  We saw several large boar, and an entire litter of baby boar.  We saw too many tanuki to count.  That's why we were happy to take home these adorable kittens, as the area was literally swarming with fearless tanuki just waiting for a kitten snack.

Two of the three kittens we picked up.

Tanuki get into the feeding bins, and boar just charge them and tear them to pieces.  These animals are not afraid of humans, and I was worried I would have to pit our rental car against the boar, as they showed no inclination to move while driving right at them.

The shelter tries to rescue all the animals they can, but there is never enough space, and more animals show up as time goes on.  Some are migrants from other areas, some were never caught to be spayed or neutered, and so keep multiplying.  The risks are getting higher and higher as well, as animal welfare groups are not liked, and not technically allowed.

We were stopped by the police, and I have no idea how they let us go.  I suspect they were secretly sympathetic to our cause, as they said multiple times animal welfare groups were not welcome, even though we never claimed to be such.  It was three foreigners and one Japanese evacuee in a giant van with four cats in the back.  We couldn't have looked more suspicious.  Our evacuee talked her way out of it, and we were allowed to continue on our way, by the grace of whatever power that be looks after such issues.  It was a little jarring, especially to realize how precarious this work is, and how easily it can be destroyed.

Please consider supporting the Japan Cat Network at their website, http://japancatnet.com  You can support the organization through a monthly donation of only $5 a month.  Yes, I know I sound like a late night infomercial, but it truly is an inspiring organization working against amazing odds.  I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into, and I am so thankful to have had my perspective challenged so greatly.  Thanks for your patience.:)

Expectations

I haven't posted in a while because life has been a bit of a roller coaster.  I don't like to whine and complain, and things are always better the next day.

I was thinking while driving the 4.5 hours home from Gunma today of all the things that I never thought I would do... ever, really... but especially in Japan.

For example, I used to pride myself on my road trip abilities.  I remember driving all through the night with my father, unable to sleep, staying awake to keep him company, and listening to 70's music on the radio.  We would drive across multiple states, only stopping when the gas tank neared empty.
 After a series of Japanese road trips almost every weekend since we've arrived in Japan, I have to announce I am hanging up my long-distance road trip shoes.  After all, there's a reason why this country is criss-crossed with railway lines... the highways are emotionally exhausting and difficult to navigate.

There are no interstates in Japan.  You have expressways, for which you have to pay.  Unfortunately, the expressway is not in our budget... so "backroads" are our only option.

Only backroads in Japan look like this:

Yes, it's picturesque frozen in a picture.  But do you see any lane markings on this road?  Know why?  It's basically one lane.  Do you see any guard rails?  No.  Just giant gutters.  And the best part is playing Japanese "chicken"... two cars going around a sharp curve on a one lane road in opposite directions, who's going to yield?????

Two words: defensive driving.

After spending an hour on such a road, my head hurts, my stomach is nauseated, and I need a break.  I never thought I would say I took our interstate system in America for granted... but it-construction, potholes and all-is a very lovely and beautiful privilege.:)

This Saturday is our school festival.  For those of you not in Japan, most Japanese schools have a giant festival of presentations, music, and sports that takes ages of planning and time.  

I was told 2 weeks ago there was a teacher's song for the festival.  We were to sing "Hey Jude".  In English, I asked?  Yep.  Great!  Not worried at all.

A day later, I was asked to play the tenor saxophone in this song.  E? I asked.  Yes, they said, we heard you  play.  PlayED I said, emphasizing the past tense, playED.  How long did you play, asked they.  Seven years, said I.  Ooooh, ahhhh said they.   $@$^%&$# said I.

But then, like a gift from the magical heaves above I was told I did not, after all, have to play.  They were unable to get the music in time.  They were very sorry.

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!  Happy dance and wine ensued.

At work this past Thursday, I find this on my desk:

Do you see any words on this music?  Neither did I.  So I asked... if I am singing, where are the words?

Oh no, said they, this is your saxophone music.  E????  I don't have a saxophone, said I.  A student will lend you one for the performance, said they.  E?????  But I need to practice, I protest.  Silence.  Crickets chirping.  A gentle cough.

So, this Saturday morning, after not playing in about 12 years, I will pick up a tenor saxophone--the fingerings of which I had to look up on the internet--and play a solo in front of my entire town without a single minute of practice.  Didn't think I would ever have to do that... ever... except in nightmares...

I make one last effort tomorrow to find ye olde saxophone rental store... as my attempts to break fingers, a hand, or anything really this weekend while canyoning failed, and I have no legitimate injury to prevent my playing.

If sliding down a waterfall didn't kill me, I doubt the saxophone solo will.  Unfortunately. 

 Jumping, floating, sliding and twisting my way down a river... also not something I ever expected to do.

It's all about expectations... and flexibility.  

Yes, I would rather have open heart surgery than play a sax solo in front of my entire community, my students, and coworkers.  I would rather have a root canal than slide down the above referenced waterfall. I would rather be attacked by snakes than drive on one lane mountain roads with no guard rails.

But, I accomplished two out of the three things listed above relatively painlessly....and though not exactly enjoyable, I am no longer afraid.

By the time I come back from Japan... I will be fearless.:)

Pyros and Baby Steps

This is not a sign you see in Japan.

Alan has had a huge problem with the Japanese practice of burning yard waste and trash.  We live by several farmers who frequently set moderately large blazes that conveniently send all the smoke directly into our apartment.  It has been triggering Alan's allergies, and yesterday it was so bad, we had to leave the house.  This unfortunate practice has made Alan ( I had thought unfairly) label all Japanese people as "pyros."

Students did this themselves!

However, the past week in school has only lent support to Alan's theory. For example, fire drills in the U.S. are boring, routine affairs that usually occur in the dead of winter, pouring rain, or blazing heat.  You wander outside, wander back inside, and call it a day.

Not so in Japan.  Japanese fire drills are much more fun.  It involves a lot of shouting over the intercom, running around with flags, and setting fire to large basins full of gasoline multiple times.  It was pretty impressive.  Even more so, as three students got to work the extinguisher to put out the gasoline fire.  I would have thought one teacher demonstration would have sufficed... but nope, three more student led demos followed.  And then, one last, long, glorious fire to finish burning off the gasoline.  Yup.

I went to science today with the first graders and you'll never guess what they were doing... biology!  Of course not.  They were setting things on fire.  First, they experimented with candles and oxygen, and then for no reason that my poor Japanese could discern, started burning plastic.  Now I know where the strange smell of burnt marshmallows that has been hanging over the school comes from.

Despite the battles we continue to have with various bureaucratic organizations, this week was an upturn from the past two frustrating weeks.  After hitting a new low of this go-round in Japan, I am encouraged by the fact that it seems like life here moves at a baby-step pace.

Anyone who knows me knows I typically move at about 100 mph.  I do a lot, do it fast, and don't have much patience for anything except my students.  Life here is the opposite of fast.  It is the new definition of "slow".  And the people and processes move slowly too... and slowly, slowly I am learning to cope.

I had several victories this week in communication with staff and students, the most frustrating part of my time here so far.  The Japanese teacher who sits directly behind me and has never uttered more than a mumbled "ohayo gozaimasu" my direction has suddenly discovered a personality and an English ability!  She sits next to me this month during lunch, and is much nicer than I might have otherwise assumed.  Hooray!

I also worked out and wrote a Japanese "script" to ask the homemaking teacher to help me find materials I need to make my winter project--a handmade yukata.  She has been so unbelievably nice and helpful, not only ordering me the material, but giving me coupons to a special sale at a sewing store for clearance obis next week.  She has offered to help me every step of the way if I need it, and offered me the use of the school sewing machines if I decide hand sewing is too difficult.  Hooray hooray!

My winter project--a handmade yukata!  Kirei, ne?

Lastly, the women teachers at the junior high are having a pizza party for *both* Alan and I!  I'm so happy they included Alan, as I've been worried about spending time with co-workers without him.  I think he is happy too, so triple hooray and that's it for today.:)

Maggots, Macrobiotics, and Matsumoto

This week we had a fun alliterative weekend.

To backtrack, last week just before Alan arrived I had "fun with fruit flies".  I've tried to be hyper vigilant about keeping the kitchen and trash area clean, and as I was super cleaning in preparation for Alan's arrival I found a science-fiction worthy hive of fruit flies.  It's very hot here, as anyone in Japan can attest to, and without air conditioning the trash is a breeding ground of nasties.  I vacuumed, mopped, swished, swatted and otherwise brutally destroyed the fruit fly habitat and thought the situation was under control.

Not so.... oh, definitely not so.  Sunday we had fruit flies: the next generation.

Yes, maggots.

How can something so small be so yucky?

I know it's completely irrational to dislike maggots more than bigger creepy things... I do fine with snakes, large spiders, mutant cockroaches... but maggots.  <Shudder>  My worst nightmare is waking up to an apartment filled with maggot-covered rats.  Creeptastic.

Rat tailed maggot.  Please kill me now.

Letting go of violent tendencies.

So began the crazy cleaning round two, this time employing chemical bug destroying spray I rarely ever use because I suspect karma will come around and kill me with cancer from the fumes.  We also have fly tape, a garbage lid bug zapper, *and* a poisonous floor bug playground.  Bugs: you WILL die!

On a happier note, we had a very tasty lunch with the other local ALTs  at a macrobiotic restaurant called Gen in Matsumoto city.  We narrowly missed the lunch after getting lost by the station .

I ask you... is it logical that the one place in the entire town where loads of foreigners will be coming in--i.e., the train station--is the one place they decide to *end* all of the signs in romaji?  Really?

Apparently, it must be so.  As we got hopelessly lost one the wrong side of some small stream after being unable to find the correct road away from the station.   To top it all off, we returned to our parking spot at the high school to find ourselves locked in.  Then, we sat in traffic in a bazillion degree heat for ... forever.

But I digress.

We had a very tasty lunch, and the ones in charge were kind enough to alert the restaurant to my embarrassing soy allergy on top of my other food restrictions, so I was happily able to eat everything served!
However, Alan's soy-filled plate was much prettier, so take a look and start salivating!

All vegetarian lunch at Gen

Only bummer was the desserts were tofu extravaganza, so obviously out for me.  Oh well, I'm sure it was tasty to those who could partake.

Overall, a nice weekend, though we will never drive in Matsumoto ever again.  It seemed silly to pay 1000 Y for us both to take the train round trip when we could drive... but it's also silly to get locked into a parking lot and almost die of heat stroke sitting at the longest stop lights ever invented.  You live you learn.

Back to School Blunders

So... just like most of the world, we are back to school here in Japan.

Unlike the U.S., Japan starts the beginning of its new semester with pomp and circumstance.  Speeches and ceremonies are the name of the game.  Having successfully given a speech in Japanese at two different schools, I thought perhaps the school year was off to a good start.

blah blah blah in Japanese.:)

Then, I met my new arch-nemesis... the electronic dictionary (cue some lame, ominous sounding music.... here.)

I think it has a diabolical plan to ruin every relationship I try so hard to develop with my co-workers.

It's first meeting with me was harmless... or so it seemed.  Innocently meeting with the three highest ranking people in my school, it ventured out of my principal's pocket to helpfully translate a burning question.

Very seriously and carefully, my principal read what the dictionary dutifully printed, and asked me, "WHAT is your PROBLEM?"  in perfectly inflected English.  After staring at him like a deer in the headlights for a good five seconds, I busted out laughing.  

As soon as I started, I hastily tried to cover up my error by apologizing in every way I could think of repeatedly in Japanese.  I think my face was as red as that man giving a speech up above.  My principal cocked his head sideways and stared at me impassively, with no response or cues given from the other two men present.

It took all of my considerable self control not to start crying on the spot.  Awkwardly, my principal went back to his desk and the other two gentlemen made to act busy by shuffling papers purposefully while we continued to wait for my late English teacher.

What I was doing in my head...

Today, the little electronic bastard reared it's ugly head again at lunch, as I flew solo without any English speakers present during lunch with the other teachers in the teacher's room.  

For some strange reason, no one ever just tries to speak English to me, or even Japanese.  They automatically resort to the electronic dictionary.  I think it has brainwashed them, or sends electronic subliminal messages every time you look at it.  I can think of no other explanation for the addiction.

So randomly, with no context whatsoever, one of the teachers hands me the translator with this translation, "cash gifts for condolences."  

I stare at them, wondering why the he** I am given this random message.

Then, it occurs to me that one of the staff's family is very ill, and probably will pass this week.  I ask in Japanese if the money is for him.  They nod yes.  I ask how much, and they tell me.  Then, I ask if I should give it to him myself, or if we are all giving it to them together.  This was a bad translation, and no one understood.  

When lunch was finished, I asked the nurse to come view what I had typed on Google translator.  She immediately started laughing hysterically and called every other person in the vicinity over to witness this massively hilarious Japanese translation.  

I asked her why it was so funny, and she apologized and walked away, along with everyone else.

I am left sitting at the desk feeling slightly offended and mostly confused about who the heck I am supposed to be paying money to now, if anyone.

No one talks to me the rest of the day, and I finally grab my English teacher to ask what that was all about.

Turns out, it had nothing to do with anyone.  They were simply asking for money for the tea and snacks we have every morning.  I know the word for tea, food, to pay, money, etc. in Japanese!  In a slightly irritated manner, I asked my English teacher to please ask the staff to speak to me in Japanese, as I explained to him what the electronic dictionary had decided was the appropriate translation.  He too, started laughing, and said he would apologize to them for me.  

Yes, I am very sorry I don't understand bad English translations from evil, manipulative electronic devices.  

Sigh.                                                                                                                             

Time in a Bottle...

Though today was full of the seemingly endless little frustrations that keep popping up, the most important part of today was that after everything, I had a revelation.

This is my brain on revelation.

No, not a biblical, going to save the world revelation.  

Just a tiny, small, itsy bitsy Sarah size revelation.  (Not that any of those words describe me.:)

I was almost brought to tears over my silly Vitacost order that cost me over $200 (yes, I know) and of which I currently have less than half.  I was so excited, literally dancing down the walkway leading the delivery man to my door.  That performance earned me the typically stoic Japanese "non-expression", but I was so happy I didn't mind.

Then ---POP!  Bubble exploded everywhere, making my whole apartment full of icky sticky badness.  I mean, what am I supposed to do with salsa and no tortilla chips?  Peanut butter, chocolate chips, but no graham crackers--how can I make my delicious peanut butter, chocolate and graham cracker delights?  All the ingredients for chili except the chili beans?

Recipes schmecipes--useless without ingredients.

I decided to take out my frustration yoga style, with my favorite teacher, Kathryn Budig.  90 minutes later, I was still upset, so I headed out as the sun was setting for a walk through the local shrine and temple.

I power walked down the hill towards the narrow road leading to the shrine.  Typically, I walk about an hour later, and the shrine is very dark.

Tonight, the light hit everything just right, illuminating small nooks and crannies and making everything luminous despite the marker and masking tape handball signs irreverently slapped onto every building and statue.

I slowed my pace, and braved the bugs and walked in between and around every building and statue. I slowed down and observed the worn down writing and glimpses of paint I had not noticed before.  Before I knew it, I was calm and smiling.

As I walked back with the setting sun shining on the neighborhood flowers and gardens, I realized that this is exactly what I've ever wanted.

Time.  Time to sit at shrines and do nothing but admire their beauty, and wonder at their history.  Time to spend 90 minutes doing yoga.  Time to communicate with friends and family I have not been good to over the years.

Maybe, at the end of my time in Japan, I will finally have accomplished what I have always hoped for--peace.

Oh, and the ability to levitate.

On the other hand, I could get so blinking lazy I come to the U.S., am unable to function in the hectic, fast-paced environment, lose my job and live in a homeless shelter for the rest of my life.

Just giving fair value to all possibilities.:)

Soon-to-be Pensioner....

So... this weekend I had an amazingly difficult realization.

I am old.

Officially.

This is what I sound like singing. 

I went up to Nagano City for Prefectural Orientation, and had a nice time afterwards at our welcome party.  Feeling a little ill after a bout with soy, I rationalized turning down the invitation to karaoke and beer as simply a smart decision to help me with recovery.

Instead, I headed out with a group of "neighbors" and a few people from down south in search of dessert in the pouring rain. After meeting an extremely rude Japanese lady at Seiyu while buying an umbrella --she literally took money out of my hand and criticized me for paying with too large of coins--we finally found a place that was open and had dessert.

I left with two others to check in to the hostel.  Though almost every single toilet was out of order and the room serving as the bathroom had holes in the wall and miscellaneous storage items, I managed a shower and settled onto my bunk.

The two other girls sharing the dorm with me showed up around 1:45 a.m.  The first one I cannot fault, as she was very quiet, kept the lights off, and overall respectful.  The second one, however, made all sorts of noise, shined light around, and spent a good half hour groaning, turning around and texting.

After I finally fell back asleep around 3 a.m., people started waking up and leaving around 4 a.m.  Shouting down the hallways, making all kinds of thunks.  Seriously?  I fell back asleep around 5, and slept for about another hour before the next wave of loud, inconsiderate people thunked their way out of the hostel.

Finally, I called it quits just after 7:30 a.m., stripped my bed and headed out to Starbucks.

 Starbucks is a foreigner mecca.

Now, I am left crabby, nauseous and sore from lack of sleep.  Worst of all, I am upset that I couldn't handle sleeping in a hostel like millions of people do every single year without complaint--in much worse conditions than mine.

And then, through the thick fog of cappucino foam... I realize... I am too old for this shit.

No, I cannot keep up with my twenty-something drinking buddies, because I cannot afford the longer recovery time my aging body now requires.

I cannot get by on three hours of sleep in the middle of a mass of unknown humans making noise at all hours of the night.  My wrinkling, dried up husk of a skin needs its 8 hours of beauty sleep.

I also no longer can live out of a backpack for days at a time, moving from place to place on a whim.  Like a nice strong Depends, my psyche needs the comfort and security of home in case an emergency arises.

Piggy banks, Nagano Style.

Lastly... perhaps most sadly of all... I have become my parents and am too worried about the bills I must pay to arbitrarily spend money on things like late night binge drinking karaoke parties no matter how much fun they may be.   After all, I should probably start saving for retirement soon.

Though those that know me have probably realized all of these things for some time, I appreciate you letting me live my delusion for a few precious moments longer.  But, the first step to recovery is realizing you have a problem... so I will very maturely celebrate my older self by dancing around the apartment singing "I'm 30 and I Know it!"

Watch out karaoke... I'm saving you for my first mid-life crisis.

Life in the Left Lane

I think I can, I think I can...

Today I accomplished my first solo drive in the left lane about 20 minutes or so to a little town called Hotaka.  Aside from the fact that everything *inside* the car is backwards, driving on the left side of the road is not so bad--as long as you ignore the "gaijin traps", deep, open gutters on the side of the road that my poor depth-perception makes me think I am a lot farther away from than I really am.

After I turned on every single thing on the car *except* the blinker, I finally realized that everything is on the opposite side of where I would expect it. Shifter on the left, blinker on the right, wipers on the left, lights on the right.  No, I never claimed to be intelligent.

Now, to master backing into parking spaces, as it seems this is the accepted way to park.  Hmmm.

The end result of my happy trip to Hotaka was shopping at the Seiyu.  Granted, I was headed for the *Toyoshina* Seiyu, rather than the Hotaka Seiyu... but as long as I have food and didn't get completely lost, I say... what's the diff?

http://www.seiyu.co.jp/food/  Check out Seiyu here!

Love, love, love....

For those of you who don't know, Seiyu is an amazing place full of lots of American foods people told me I could not get here.  Like peanut butter.  And Reese's peanut butter cups.  And cookies.   And huge bottles of Coke Zero.  And real, non-funkily topped pizza.  Just thinking about what is currently nestled in my cupboards makes me smile contentedly.  Ah, Seiyu.

However, I could write a separate blog on the strange, very different things I find parked next to my good ole American peanut butter and pizza.  Like sandwiches with unidentified meat and spaghetti.  Yum.  And every kind of dehydrated, salted mystery creature you can think of compressed in a bag and put on view for your consumption.  Double yum.                                                                                                                                       

Need more hangers...

I finally was brave enough to hang my laundry outside today.  Except the personals.  Just couldn't put my undergarments on display for my soon-to-be students to potentially see.  Sorry.  Now back to looking up one line toasts in case I have to give one at the welcome party tonight... better safe than sorry.